Saying Goodbye
by RachelLovesYou6
Summary: "She's gone, Adam. I killed her.". "Eli, It was a mistake.".  The memory of that night flooded through my head. I killed the one I loved. I could never get her back. She was my everything. Now, I have nothing. Nothing to live for, nothing worth loving.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm thinking about another story(: I thought about this one a long time ago, and I finally decided to write it. Sadly, there are only going to be a FEW more chapters for the sequel to 'Twisted Routes'. Well, this story is going to jump around some, flashbacks in italics, and all that. So, enjoy :)**

**OOO**

Chapter One – Broken

OOO

"_I'm sorry Sir, she didn't make it. We tried the best we could, she lost too much blood."  
>"W-what are you talking about? She couldn't have died. That's… that's impossible."<br>"I'm sorry."_

I shot up from the bed, breathing heavily with tears creased down my cheeks. I looked around my room, with no light besides the muted TV playing some sort of stupid romance movie. I sighed heavily, wiping the bead of sweat crawling down my forehead. I had the same dream every night. The same one about how I killed my girlfriend. 'You didn't kill her.' Everyone stated, but I'm the one who did. I killed her with my own hateful words. If I never would've said those things, she would be here with me. She wouldn't be dead.

I walked down the long hallway in my apartment, going to the cabinet where I keep all my whiskey. I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror. I had deep purple bags under my eyes and my face was all bruised up from this asshole at school. I popped open the lip and took a sip, letting the burning acid slither down my throat. I took another sip, with the pain increasing after each one. I hated drinking, but it always seemed to solve my problems. I picked up my phone, and called someone who can really seem to help me when I need him most. Adam.

It rang 3 times before Adam picked up, with a scruffy hello, he finally realized it was me.  
>"Duuuude, I-I need your help." I laughed nervously as I dragged my feet to the couch, collapsing onto the soft cushions.<br>"You've been drinking… I'll be over soon."  
>Before I could answer him, he had already hung up. I threw my phone across the room and threw my head down on the couch, remembering the most horrifying night of my life.<p>

"_WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO HER?" Her mom yelled, making me throw all the things off the table.  
>"I didn't say anything. We got into an argument. SHE got mad and ran off." I cried, trying the best to convince her mom that I didn't do it.<br>"You murdered my daughter, Elijah. You verbally murdered her. You need to tell me what you said."  
>"I-I didn't murder her. All I said was that she was becoming to clingy, and I called her… a selfish bitch – but I didn't mean it. I swear on my life I wish I could take back everything I said that night."<br>"You should be sorry Eli. You KILLED my only daughter."  
>"I didn't." I tried to speak, but the words her mom was saying grew louder and louder.<br>"You did Eli. I can never forgive you."_

"Dude, open up the door." I heard Adams deep voice from behind the door. I groaned and picked up my dead weight, dragging myself to the door. I lifted my hand and sighed as the pain raced through my arm as I opened the door.

"God man, you look terrible." Adam said throwing his arm over my shoulder.  
>"T-thank dude." I whispered sarcastically as he placed me down on the couch.<br>"Are you thinking about Julia again? This is hurting you, Eli."  
>"She's gone, Adam. I killed her." I whispered as the tears formed around my eyes.<p>

"Eli, it was a mistake." Adam said, patting my back. He pulled me into a small hug, letting me know he was there for me.

The memory of that night flooded through my head. I killed the one I loved. I could never get her back. She was my everything. Now, I have nothing. Nothing to live for, nothing worth loving.

**OOO**

**Yes, his girlfriend is obviously Julia. I didn't mention her name, because I guessed you all would know. And no, Eli and Clare DO NOT know each other. In a few chapters, they will. And I know, this IS short, but I wanted to get some of the point across. Next chapter WILL be longer, I promise (: **


	2. Let Me Down Easy

**The first chapter was really short, I know. This one and from now on will be shorter, like I said. Julia is the girlfriend that Eli 'killed' he DOES NOT know Clare yet. Adam and him have a past that I will be introduced in this chapter. Well, thank you and enjoy (:**

**OOO**

Chapter 2 – Let Me Down Easy

OOO _**Let Me Down Easy – Bill Currington**_

_If I fall, can ya let me down easy  
>If I leave my heart with you tonight,<br>Will you promise me that you're gonna treat it right  
>I'm barely hangin on, if I fall, can you let me down easy<em>

OOO

"Mr. Goldsworthy, can you come up and read your homework assignment to the class?" Mrs. Dawes annoying voice interrupted my daze as she slammed her ruler onto my desk. I groaned and dragged myself up to the front of the room and looked around to see the bored faces on each of the students. I sighed and picked up the paper to read.

_I never meant those words I said.  
>I would take them back, if I could.<br>I miss you. I love you.  
>I've always loved you. I never stopped.<br>I wish I could just see you one last time,  
>to hold you, to touch you, to kiss you.<br>Just one last time.  
><em>

Tears formed behind my eyes as I kept on reading the poem I wrote. I looked up at the intense stares of the classmates. I took a deep breath and finished the last of the poem.

_I love you, I always have,  
>I never stopped.<em>

I walked back to my desk and slid down into my seat.  
>"Very good Elijah, I liked that." Mrs. Dawes touched my shoulder as the students did a pitiful clap after my turn. I placed my head down on the desk as I heard the whispering Fitz did in front of me.<p>

'_He doesn't wish anything. He's the one who killed her.'_ He whispered making me shoot him an ugly glare. I shrugged my shoulders as the words slipped passed me, making it seem like I didn't care. I rolled down my sleeves, looking at the purple and white scars down my arms and wrists. I lifted my sleeve up more, looking at the word 'killer' carved into my forearm. I glared back up at the teacher sadly as she was giving me my grade sheet. I rolled down my sleeves quickly, thanking god that she didn't see them.

The bell rang, and I shot up from my desk, only to be knocked back down by Fitz shoving past me.  
>"Elijah, I need to see you." Mrs. Dawes looked up at me as I reached the door. I nodded and walked over to her, setting my things down on the desk.<p>

"Yes Mrs. Dawes?"  
>"Elijah, I really like your work, and I'm really hoping to hear more from you. But besides that, we have to get partners for the next few assignments we're doing. We are getting a new student and she is a great writer like you, writes about the same stuff and all that. I'm assigning you to be her partner. Would that be okay?"<br>I thought about it, I couldn't turn down an opportunity like this. Maybe she could help me?

"Sure Mrs. Dawes. That would be cool, when is she arriving?"  
>"Monday," She smiled "I'm glad you're doing this, Eli."<br>"Okay, sure, I guess I am too."

I nodded my head as I picked up my stuff and walked out of the room. _'What just happened in there? I don't want a new partner. I liked Julia to be my partner. I don't want a new one. What if she finds out about me killing my girlfriend? I can't I have to go back and—'_

"Hey dude, over here!" Adams voice interrupted my thoughts as I turned my head into his direction. I smirked and walked over to him giving him a high five.

Adam and I have been friends since kindergarten. When I first met him though, I knew him as, Gracie. When we turned 13, he decided that he hated being a girl, so he became a female to male transgender. His mom didn't approve of him, so she kicked him out. And he now lives in his own apartment. Adam is my best friend; I've been with him through everything just like he was there for me when Julia died and when I get drunk from thinking about that night.

"Hey man." I smirked and leaned against the lockers.  
>"Hey, do you want to come over tonight, just to clear your head?" He asked shutting his locker.<br>"Sure, I guess. I'll come over later, around 5:30?"  
>"Yeah, sounds cool." He patted my shoulder and exited the building, leaving me abandoned in the empty hallways. I walked around the corner of the school, only to get stopped by Fitz, hitting me straight in the jaw.<p>

"I didn't know emo boy had a soft heart, who knew?" He smirked, hitting me again in the jaw, making me fall. I heard him laugh as he mumbled some more things under his breath. He lifted his foot up, and kicked me right in the stomach. I yelled in pain and practically threw up as I tasted the small amount of blood in my mouth. He kicked me again and laughed, then walked away. Leaving me once again, bruised and broken on the muddy ground where he always did.

**OOO  
><strong>

I looked at myself in the mirror; I had freshly new bloody cuts and bruises from what happened with Fitz. I lifted my shirt as looked at the purple and black bruises that decorated my skin. Fitz was right though, no one loves me. No one deserves to have me. I am too messed up to love again.

"_Why are you being like this Jules?"  
>"What Eli… tell me what you're thinking."<br>"I… can't"  
>"SAY IT!"<br>"You're a selfish bitch, Julia. You're always doing what you want. Have you even thought doing something I want? It's all about it. It's ALWAYS about you. I'm sick and tired of your act."  
>She looked at me with wide and shocked eyes. Her eyes filled with tears as she picked up her bag.<br>"Jules… I'm sorry." I grabbed her arm but she pulled out of my grip.  
>"No, Elijah. Just… leave me alone."<em>

_Then, she was gone._

I dragged my feet to the bathroom, feeling pain with every step I took. I shut the door, and walked over to the mirror. I looked at my face, with the ugly scars and purple marks. I was ugly. I was disgusting. I clenched my jaw together at the thought of Fitz. He was going to get it someday. I just know it. And when he does, I'm going to be the one laughing. Not him.

I pulled out a small towel, along with the sharp blade I used months before. I took a deep breath and placed my hand in the sink, with the blade already piercing my skin. Pushing down harder, I saw the small amount of blood pour out from it. I put more pressure on my wrists and took the blade off, watching the dark red liquid fall down into the sink.

I stepped back, placing my back against the concrete walls. I slid down into the floor with my wrist wrapped inside the towel holding it closely to my chest. The blood from the new cut was very visible on the white towel that I have used multiple times before. I fell to the ground, my vision getting blurry as I saw the bathroom door fly open.

"_Eli…" _I heard a small voice say.  
><em>"Eli… wake up, please." <em> My eyes shot open at Adam squatting down next to me. His hand was bloody and he was pressuring the towel harder on my wrists.  
><em>"Come on, stay with me…"<em> I could hear his voice, he sounded like it he was fading away.  
>"<em>Eli…"<em> I felt a cold hand touch my face, goose bumps covered my skin as the hand ghosted over my bruises. I opened my eyelids to see a black figure in front of me. I blinked a few times as the object got clearer.

_Julia._

My eyes widened as she touched my face. 'What was happening?' I asked myself. I looked past her and saw Adam, tears streaming down his face. He didn't even notice Julia sitting in front of me.  
>I brought my attention back towards Julia, who was now inches away from my face. Her lips barley touched mine and that's when everything ended.<p>

I shot up from the bed, looking around my living room. I saw Adam in the love seat with blood stains on his t-shirt. I looked down at my wrist which had gauze wrapped around it with blood approaching the top.

I stood up from the couch and walked over to Adam, shaking him lightly.  
>"Adam, what happened?" I asked as his eyelids fluttered open.<br>"You were on the ground, and bleeding. You promised you wouldn't cut anymore Elijah. I also saw the bruises; did Fitz do that to you?"  
>I nodded, "Just, was I saying anything when you got here?"<br>"Yeah, you were mumbling Julia's name, and that's about it." Adam shrugged his shoulders and stood up. "You got an extra t-shirt I can borrow? I don't want my roommate to be freaking out." Adam smiled and nudged my arm lightly with is elbow.  
>"Yeah," I stood up walking over to my bedroom, getting him a dark purple t-shirt. "Here you go, and thanks man." I smiled<br>"Anytime bro." Adam did one of his half smiles and he exited the door. "I'll be back later."

I nodded and shut the door behind him. When I turned around, my eyes widened at what I saw. It was here again, standing in the corner across the room.

This is impossible. This can't be happening.

"J-Julia?" I asked lightly pressing my back against the door. I blinked my eyes and then she was now standing inches away from me.

"Hello Elijah," She whispered. "good to see you again huh?"  
>I tried to touch her, but my hand went right through her shoulders. I pulled back quickly as the cold air rushed through my body.<br>"What are you doing – how – you're dead—" I stammered, backing away from her. I was terrified when I saw the angry look glued to her face. I wanted to scream, run for help, do something.  
>"I'm only dead when you want me to be."<br>"That doesn't make any sense Julia."  
>"It does Eli. You can only see me when you want to see me."<br>"But I don't want to see you. "  
>"Oh, really? Then what was that little poem you wrote in class, hmm? 'I wish I could see you one last time.'"<br>"Julia stop it, just go away." I closed my eyes tightly and opened them back up, with Julia nowhere in sight. I sighed and sunk to the floor, and buried my head in my hands and cried softly. I couldn't tell Adam about this, he will never believe me. He will call those people again and they will take me to the white room with no windows. I couldn't go there again. I could never go there. Bad things happen there. I'm never going back… never.

**OOO**

**Okay, well im too lazzy to type stuff.m REVIEW!**


	3. This is Where it all Started

**Hello! I'm hoping to get more reviews this time since I am introducing Clare in this chapter. I am REALLY sorry for all the mistakes because I have a computer that does not show the spelling mistakes or puncuation errors. DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! :)**

**OOO**

Chapter 3 - This is Where it all Started

OOO

"I can't do this, Adam... What if she finds out about me?" I turned in my desk, facing Adam who was scribbling in his notebook. He sighed and dropped his pen, looking over at me.  
>"Just don't mention it. She'll never know, unless you trust her enough." He looked up at the board where Ms. Dawes was writing our assignments down. I looked down at my feet and winced in pain as the cotton of my jacket rubbed across my new freshly made cut.<p>

"You're lucky I got to you in time, if I didn't, it could've been much worse." He bumped my shoulder gesturing to my wrist.  
>"Yeah, thanks man, I don't know what I would do withou-"<p>

I was cut off my Ms. Dawe's annoying voice, making the class quiet down.  
>"Okay, class... We have a new student today." She stood out of the way, to show the class the new student, who is apperantly my new english partner.<br>I turned my head, only to see a beautiful girl. She had short caramel brown hair and deep blue eyes. She had a long sleeved shirt, with her arms crossing over her chest as she glanced around the room with a bored expression plastered on her face.  
>"Guys, this is Clare Edwards... and Elijah has said he could be her partner." I stood up from the desk, making all heads turn towards me.<p>

Clare drifted her eyes to me, and smiled faintly as she walked over to the desk behind me. I smirked as she sat down, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink as her gaze lost mine.  
>"Hi..." She whispered, "what type of assignment are we doing?" her soft voice pulled me back to reality.<p>

"Something that you have deep feelings for, like that really pisses you off... makes you feel like you could explode."  
>"I have a lot of those," she mumbled "who all will be reading them?"<br>Her sleeve lifted up, and I looked down, seeing all types of purple and red scars on her wrist. My lips parted as she lifted them back down, realizing I saw them.  
>"J-just me and the teacher, no one else unless you want someone to read them." I looked up at her as she nodded, and I turned back around.<p>

_'Does she cut herself? No, she couldn't, she looks like the type of girl who has a perfect life.'_

The sound of the loud bell echoing around the room as the students gathered their things, leaving Adam, Clare, and I behind.  
>"Do you all want to go to the Dot?" Adam asked us, doing this smirk which he picked up from me, smiling and glancing between Clare and I.<br>"I-I can't... my dad- he wouldn't like that... I have to get home." Clare stammered, making me shoot her a concerned glare. "I'll see you guys later, nice meeting you, Eli." She smiled sadly and walked out the doors of the school.

"What was that about?" Adam asked looking at me.  
>"I don't know. Somethings up with her." I shrugged my shoulders and walked out the door. "Are we going to the Dot or not?" I smiled faintly and waited for Adam to catch up to me. He bumoed my shoulder and smiled, while walking out of the school.<p>

**OOO**

"I wonder what happened with Clare... she was so hesitant when she mentioned her dad." Adam stated taking a sip of his coffee.  
>"I don't know, but when she sat down at the desk... her sleeve raised up, and I saw scars, like ones not that long ago." I grabbed a menu and scanned through it, listening to the people talk around us.<br>"Do you think she... you know... cuts?" Adam whispered, looking down at his phone.  
>"I don't know... but like I said, something is wrong with Clare."<br>"Are you going to ask her what's wrong?"  
>"No... it's too soon. Maybe in a few weeks, when I really get to know her."<br>"But Eli, if she tells you... you're going to have to tell her about you, Julia, cutting, your drinking... all that."  
>I nodded, not really wanting to tell Clare about my past. But its always best to tell someone, right? It makes you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders?<p>

Adam jumped at the sound of his phone vibrating on the table. He opened it up, and a small blush appeared on his pale face. "I-I got to go, Fiona needs me." He winked and stood up from the booth.  
>"Be safe, Adam." I smiled as he walked past the booth. "HEY! Wait," I yelled, making him turn back to face me. "use protection."<br>He laughed and hit my arm, "you're such a dick."  
>He ran out the Dot, with the pain of his fists still stinging my arm. I turned around, back to face my food when I heard the bell from the door open. Someone walked up next to me, and I wasn't paying any attention.<p>

"Hi." A soft, fimilar voice stood beside me. I looked up to see Clare, standing there with a light smile and her arms crossed over her chest.  
>"Well, hey. What are you doing here?' I asked smirking, trying my best not to see anymore signs of cutting or anything else.<br>"I begged my dad to let me come, he had a hard time being convinced, but he finally let me come."  
>"Why wouldn't he let you in the first place?" I asked, taking a tip of my milkshake.<br>"My dad, he's sort of the... protective type. He doesn't like me going around places by myself, since I'm new and all." She shrugged her shoulders sitting down at the booth in front of me.

I could still hear the hesitation in her voice as she brought up her dad. I nodded and smiled lightly at her as she sat down. The moment she sat down, she shivered.  
>"It's kinda cold in here." I looked over at the wall, where the themometor hung.<br>"It's 69 degrees. Its not that cold... are you okay?" I saw a black figure off to my left, I turned my head, only to see Julia. My eyes widened at the sight, she was... crying.

_"She'll never love you... Eli. Your life is too fucked up" _ Julia whispered.  
>I closed my eyes, and counted to three. I opened back up and looked back where she was sitting, and she was gone.<p>

"Elijah... are you okay?"  
>"Huh? Oh yeah... I'm fine. Just... tired," Okay so I lied, I didn't want to freak her out saying that I see my dead ex-girlfriend. "and please, call me Eli."<br>"Okay... you just seemed confused and fightened."  
>"Yeah... I'm fine."<p>

**OOO**

We were walking the streets, just talking about random things. Before I knew it, we were in front of a small house, white with green shutters.  
>"Well, um... here's my house." She smiled and placed her hand on the door handle.<br>"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Clare." I nodded and jumped as the door opened, seeing her dad giving me a death glare.

"Clare, you were supposed to be home at 6:30." His groggy voice reminded me of my dad's.  
>She shot glances at me and tilted her head down.<br>"I'm sorry, Dad... it won't happen again."  
>"It won't... and you know I don't like you hanging around boys, and who's this?" He looked up, gesturing to me.<br>"Oh.. I'm El-" He cut me off by raising his voice.  
>"I was asking Clare." She shot her head up, giving me a sorry and apologetic look.<br>"Bye, Eli." She mumbled and ran past her dad. I saw her throw her bags across the room and shot up the stairs.  
>"I'm sorry, but I have to go." I whispered.<br>"Yeah, next time you keep my daughter after cerfew, you won't be seeing her again."  
>My eyes widened. The cuts, the distant talks and frightened tone in her voice when she spoke of her dad. What if her dad was... abusive? No... he couldn't. I didn't see any bruises.<p>

I shook the thought off and headed back to my apartment, to put the day to rest.

**OOO**

I woke up to the sunlight burning through my eyelids. I groaned as I opened my eyes lightly, seeing the tiny space of sunlight coming through the blinds. I looked over at the flashing LED lights which sat across my dresser. I sighed and sat up, rubbing my eyes to get adjusted to the light.

The first thought that overcame my mind was Clare. When her dad came to the door, her eyes changed from calm and happy, to totally terrified. I don't know if I should ask her or not, I mean we just met yesterday, she probably doesn't even want to tell me.

I stood up from my bed and walked to the bathroom, looking over all the scars on my body that decorated my broken skin.

_Ring Ring_

Someone's at the door... great. Well, I'm not answering it.

_Ring Ring_

Damn. Just go away.

_Ring Ring_

I was getting annoyed, I pulled a shirt over my head and walked to the door. I opened the door harshly, not even caring to realize who was at the door.

"Can you just go the hell awa- Clare, oh god... I'm sorry- are you crying?" I felt so bad, I looked up at her with an apologetic look, and noticed that tears were running down her face and her make-up smeared.

"Clare... are you alright?"

What she said next, shocked me. I couldn't find the right words to say. I just stood there looking at her with a shocked expression.

"Are you serious?"

**OOO**

**Cliffhanger? :) REVIEW!**

**LIKE i SAID SORRY FOR ALL THE SPELLING MISTAKES AND ALL, MY COMPUTER iVE BEEN USING DOES NOT HAVE THE SPELL CORRECTION APP THINGY, SO SORRRYYY!**


	4. Scars

Chapter 4- Scars

**OOO**

****"Eli, my dad - he got mad.. He hit me Eli."  
>Clare was sitting on my couch, legs pulled up against her chest and arms around them. Her makeup was running down her pale cheeks and she cried heavily. I didn't know what to do, should I talk to her? Hold her?<p>

"Has he done this before?" I asked sitting down next to her. She jumped as I laid my hand on her shoulder. She nodded and placed her forehead on her knees covering her face. She sobbed between breaths as she lifted her head, wiping away her smeared eyeliner and tears.  
>"Can you show me what he did?" I asked, breaking the silence.<br>"I don't know Eli..."  
>"Clare, I need to know this. You're probably scared that we just met and all, but you need to stay away from him. Does your mom know?"<p>

She shook her head, "No, she died when I was 10."  
>I nodded an 'o', "Sorry..."<br>"It's fine," She took her sleeve and pulled them over her knuckles. "She was getting hit too. But she didn't know about me."  
>I nodded and stood up, placing my hand out for her.<br>"This may be a strange offer, but do you want to stay her for a couple of days? Just to get away from your dad?" I looked deeply into her eyes as she grabbed my hand and stood up.

"I don't know, Eli."  
>"I know what you're saying, we just met yesterday. But I don't want you to get hurt." My voice was low and caring as I said this. I make it sound like... I actually like her. I frowned and placed my hand on her shoulder.<br>"Are you sure Eli? I don't want to intrude."  
>I laughed, "Trust me, you're not." Clare grinned and turned to face me, pulling me into a hug. I was careful not to hurt her, so I wrapped my arms around her; giving her a caring hug back.<p>

**OOO  
><strong>"I don't have anything to wear." Clare whispered as I walked out of my room, placing a pillow and blanket down on the couch.  
>"I have something." I smirked as her face turned a light shade of pink. After a few minutes of awkward silence, I walked back into my bedroom getting her a black shirt and blue plaid pants. She smiled as I handed her the clothes and walked out of my room for her to change.<p>

A few minutes after, she walked out, seeing me on the couch watching TV, "Where am I going to sleep?" She asked, making me stand up. Damn. She looks good in my clothes. I shook off the thought and walked over to her.  
>"In my room." The corner of my mouth tugged into a small smirk.<br>"Eli, no I can't-"  
>"Clare! I want you too. I can't have a pretty girl come in my house and sleep on a uncomfortable couch." She smiled and walked closer to me. She stood on her tippy toes and placed a light kiss on my cheek.<br>"Thank you, Eli. For everything." She said softly, walking past me into my bedroom. She stood at the doorway, "Goodnight, Eli." She smiled and shut the door, leaving me with my heart beating heavily through my chest. I felt like it was about to explode, "Goodnight Clare." I whispered, smiling to myself as I lied on the couch letting the darkness surround me.

**OOO**

I walked lazily into Ms. Dawes room, wanting the day to end already. I smiled at Adam and looked at Clare's desk, which is empty. I frowned when I didn't see her, but shook off the thought when I approached Adam.

"So, did you get to know Clare?" He asked doodling in his notebook.  
>"Yeah, but I can't tell... I promised."<br>"Oooh, you two are already 'in love'" He stated with a high pitched girly voice.  
>"I don't like her, Adam. Now shut up." I put my head down, trying to hide the blush.<br>"I see the way you look at her Eli. You know you're attracted to her. She can actually help you get out of your shell. You meeting and spending time with her could really help."  
>"Yeah, I don't know... there's just something about her that really makes me want to know her better. But I just don't want to ask her about it yet, we just met Adam. Maybe later I'll ask her more." I shifted in my seat, looking up at the board as the bell rang. The class quieted down, but some people jumped as someone slammed the door open.<p>

I turned my head, seeing Clare with a annoyed look on her face like she was in a rush or didn't get her way.  
>"Ah, Clare. Thanks for joining us today." Ms. Dawes yelled across the classroom.<br>"Sorry, I got lost. It won't happen again." She looked over at me and smiled as she noticed the smirk plastered on my face. She slowly walked over to the desk and leaned over closer to me.  
>"Thanks for letting me stay over last night." She whispered, purposely blowing her hot breath on my neck.<br>"A-anytime." I stammered looking over at Adam who was shaking his head and slightly smiling. I playfully hit his arm and he shot me a deep glare, like he was about to go off on me. I broke the glances and looked down at my paper, reading over the assignment Ms. Dawes gave us.

"Now, I want you all to switch papers with your partner, and start editing." Ms. Dawes yelled across the room. I heard Clare stomp her foot in frustration as she said this. I turned to face her giving her my paper and she hesitantly gave me hers.  
>"Don't worry, Clare. Ms. Dawes and I are the only ones going to read this. I promise."<br>"O-okay. Thank you." She smiled and looked down at my paper. I turned my head and read the title.

_Scars.  
>Some of you, think scars, as in falling off your bike or getting in a fight. Maybe even seeing something so scary its with you your whole life. Well. I have different types. Scars that will stay with me forever, whenever I look at them all on my arms and body, I will remember how they got there, and how I dealt with them.<em>

_I was four, and my mom had gotten me a bike. My dad didn't like the idea. He sent me to my room, yelled at me and practically threw me up there with his hateful words. Of course, he was drunk again. The tears left red creases down my cheek as I crawled over to the dark corner in my closet, listening to all the hateful words my dad was saying to my mom. After a few moments of screaming and small cries, everything quieted down. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and into my room. Me terrified, only to think who was in my room, my drunken dad or my protective mom. My mom opened the closet door, looking down at me with sad eyes and carefully picked me up and laid down in bed with me. She would brush my hair with her fingers whispering caring words into my ears, telling me everything was going to be alright. But she was wrong, she always was. Deep down, I knew everything was not going to be okay._

'Wow' I thought to myself. She is such a powerful writer. I looked up at Ms. Dawes who was scribbling notes in her grade book. I sighed, and started reading again.

_I was 10 years old when my mom passed away. It was the worst year of my life. Everything I loved was gone, just like that. The doctors explained to my dad, who was fake crying; that they didn't know what had causes her death. He looked up at the doctors, showing them a fake expression. My dad never loved my mom, he hit her. If he did love her, he wouldn't do that._

_When I turned 12, I turned into a whole different person. My dad mentioned that he doesn't even know me anymore. Good. I don't want him to know me. I got my hair cut, short to my ears, and eye surgery with a fake signature. I got slutty clothes that showed lots skin. I was no longer a perfect Christian girl. When I went to school, I was bullied, called all these names. I even turned to drugs which I am never going back to. One day, things got worse. People stashed these vibrators in my locker, and when I opened my locker they all fell out, everyone laughed. People called me a whore, everything in the book. I was fed up with this world. I wanted it to end already._

_I ran out of the school and to my house. My dad was yelling things at me as I shoved passed him. Great, he was drunk. I went upstairs and took the sharpest thing I could find in my bathroom. I placed it on my wrist, and next thing I knew, I was in a white room. Nurses all around me. My dad was sitting in the corner, he looked upset, exhausted. No. He shouldn't. He hurt me, physically and emotionally. He hates me._

_I am 16 years old now, and everything has gotten worse. My dad hits me when he's drunk, he even touched me. I hate my dad. I left home and went to the closest person I could find. This guy seems like he can even protect me from my dark past and help me get into the real world. We just met though, and I really feel like I can trust him with my life. He's sweet and he's the closest person that I have to a friend. But no matter how hard he tries, I am always going to have scars with me. Scars that will never go away no matter how much I want them too._

My heart fluttered, was she talking about me? No Eli, snap out of it. I can't be all worked up over that. She just poured her heart out on a small sheet of paper. I frowned and made some marks on her paper, telling her to delete a word or add details. The bell rang as soon as I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I turned and smiled to face Clare, whose face was as pale as a ghost and had a frightened expression on her face.

"Clare, you look like you've seen a ghost. What's wrong?"  
>"I... I - Eli, the girl you explained in your writing."<p>

_Shit.  
><em>  
>"Yeah, what about her?" I was getting freaked out, my heart was speeding in my chest.<br>"I - I saw her."  
>"Uh, excuse me... What?"<br>"ELI! I fucking saw her! She was right beside me. Her face was pale, she had black eyes and scars all over her face."

My eyes widened.

"Did she say anything to you?" I was getting really freaked out.  
>"She said that... I had to stay away from you. And she disappeared. I don't know."<br>I sighed, "Don't worry, Clare. She can't hurt you. She's dead."  
>"Eli, did you really kill her?"<br>"What? No. When she died, I felt like I'm the one who did it. But I really don't want to explain it here, come over tonight?"  
>She smiled faintly, "Sure..."<p>

**OOO**

"Julia, she was my everything. We met at a school prom, she was with my best friend and I was with hers. At the end of the night, my date started talking to hers, and we just switched. Julia and I started dating and so did my best friend and hers. After that, everything seemed perfect, I had good grades, my family was so proud of me. But all that started to change when school started back. You know Adam, right?"

She nodded. "Well I was supposed to meet them at the Dot, and when I got there, Adam and Julia were practically swallowing each other. At that site, it felt like someone stabbed me in the heart. I didn't care about Adam at the time; I pushed the transgender thing out of my mind. I hit him, lots of times. Julia stood behind me, pushing me off of Adam. When I got done Adam was all bruised and damaged. I threw him back in the booth and took Julia by the arm."

"Adam? He's a transgender?"  
>"Yeah, female to male."<br>"Oh, I didn't know that, but keep going."

"Alright, so we went back to my house. My parents weren't home. I yelled at her, so many nasty things. When I finally got the truth out of her, she told me some previous things she had done ever since we started dating. I called her a selfish bitch and that everything was about her. I couldn't stand the lies anymore. After 15 minutes of back and forth yelling, she took off and walked out in the middle of the street, not seeing the drunk driver speeding with his car only feet from her. She was dead before she even hit the ground. After she died, I felt like I'm the one who caused it. If I didn't get so worked up over her kissing Adam, she would still be here,"

I could feel my eyes starting to water, and I tried my best not to cry.

"When she died, people always told me I'm the one who killed her. And I believed them. My own mom kicked me out! I get bullied at school every day; I come home and drink myself until I can't see straight. I've cut myself so many times, there's not a clean part of skin on my arms." I was getting angry. I stood up and lifted my shirt over my head. Clare looked up and down my body with a fearful gleam in her eyes.

"Eli..."  
>"Clare! NO! I don't need pity. I'm ugly! I'm gross."<br>"You're not, Elijah." She lifted my arm, ghosting her fingers over the scar that said 'killer'. She looked up at me and placed a hand on my cheek. "You're not ugly, Eli. And you're not disgusting, Look at me!" She lifted her shirt up, just showing her white tank top. Her stomach had all sorts of cuts and bruises. Her arms were scars of cutting or earlier bruises.

"Eli, if it's anyone who's ugly or disgusting it's me."  
>"You're not, Clare." I wanted to say 'That's why I like you.' But I couldn't. We just met, like 3 days ago? I don't want to creep her out. But, what she did next really pulled me off guard. She reached up and kissed me. My heart pounded like crazy, but as I was about to kiss her back, she pulled away and grabbed her shirt.<p>

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." she stammered. "I'm going to bed, goodnight Eli." She wouldn't even look me in the eye.  
>"Goodnight Clare." I sat on the couch as she ran down the hallway and into my bedroom. I touched my lips lightly and smirked at how good the feeling of her lips felt on mine.<br>**OOO  
>ahahah, not my best chapter. But yeah. ? <strong>


	5. It's Not Always Perfect

**Okay, guys. It's been forever, I know. Please don't hate me for updating super late. I've been having writers block and the new episodes of Degrassi and all that.(: Well.. a good friend of mine on twitter, Stephgoes_Rawr , helped me with this chapter, and so did my lovely best friend Rachel. *gives you both hugs* Thanks for helping out(:  
>Well, Enjoy. OOHH, I am using my laptop, and my dad hasn't installed the real Word Document thingy, so I have no idea if there are any spelling mistakes or error, ect. But hopefully you all will be nice and not bitch about it to me. Well, yeah...<strong>  
>OOO<br>**Chapter 5 - It's Not Always Perfect.  
>OOO<strong>

I woke up nearly hanging out the couch and a bad headache. As soon as I stood up the smell of eggs and coffee lingered in the air. I smiled and looked over at the kitchen to see Clare standing there in some of my pajama pants and a blue tank top. I quietly walked over to her and leaned against the doorway, not saying a word. She started singing a song that Adam had showed her the other day at school. I laughed under my breath and said, "You have a nice voice, Edwards." She jumped and turned around with a blush appearing on her pale cheeks.

"When did you wake up?" She said slowly putting some pepper on the eggs.  
>"About 5 minutes ago, you?" I smirked at her and sat down at the glass table set in the middle of the kitchen.<br>"I've been up all night, couldn't sleep." She shrugged her shoulders and got a plate from the cabinet and got two plates down. She put some bacon on one side and some eggs on another, she then turned around and handed me a plate.  
>"Thanks beautiful." I smirked at her as a blush appeared on her cheeks once again.<p>

Clare walked over and poured herself some coffee. "We're already late for school, no point of going, right?" She said turning around and sitting next to me at the table. I smiled at her,  
>"Did you have something in mind for us to do today?"<p>

She sighed, "I was thinking we could go catch a movie or maybe go to the mall."  
>"Sounds good," I took a bite of my eggs and looked over at her. My eyes wondered down her arms and I noticed a fresh cut on her wrist. She noticed I was looking and quickly covered it up and stood up from the table.<br>"Clare, wait." I said and grabbed her arm making her turn around to face me. Her cheeks were streaked with tears and her eyes were red. "What happened, Clare?"  
>"N-nothing, Eli. It's nothing." She whispered pulling her arm back.<p>

She looked down at her hands and sobbed. I took two of my fingers and lifted her chin up to look at me. I caressed my thumb over the shredded tears on her cheek and lightly kissed her forehead. "Clare tell me what happened, please." I begged her and looked deeply into her ocean blue eyes. She took a deep breath and sniffled and looked back at me.

"My dad called me last night. He wants me to go home. He said that when I do he's going to give me a surprise. And I know what he means by that. Eli I'm scared of him." Clare sobbed, "He told me that he's the only person that loves me and that's why I'm his." Clare choked up and leaned into my hand.  
>"Clare, what he said isn't true. There are so many people in this world that love you so much." I rubbed my thumb over her dampened cheek.<br>"Like who?" She said and closed her eyes. "Tell me one person that loves me."

I kissed her forehead again, down to her cheeks, and stopped before I got to her lips. I inched towards her as her eyes looked into mine and down at my lips. I smirked and pressed my lips to hers. She gasped at first but pretty soon, her lips were moving in-sync with mine. I smirked against her lips and pulled back, pecking her lips quickly. "I do, Clare. I think you are the most beautiful girl in the world. Even though we just met I feel like I've known you forever."

Clare smiled sadly, and wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around her waist and we stayed there for what seemed like forever. I smiled as I breathed in her sent. I wanted to stay there for as long as we could. I never wanted to let go.  
><strong>OOO<strong>

I looked over at Clare as I stopped the hearse at a red light. She blushed, "What is it?" She asked.  
>"Come here." I said while putting my arm out. She smiled and scooted over to me, placing her head on my shoulder and her free hand on my stomach. She looked up at me and I looked down at her smiling at her as I lightly pressed my lips against hers. As I was about to deepen the kiss, the car behind us honked it's horn which made Clare and I jump. Clare whimpered from the loss and I smirked down at her before driving again.<p>

When we arrived at the movies, I got out of the car quickly and walked over to Clare's side and opened it for her. I placed my hand out and she gently grabbed it while pulling herself up out of the hearse. I smiled and wrapped my arm around her shoulders as she wrapped her arm around my waist.

We walked up to the ticket counter and I smiled, "Two tickets for 'Friends with Benefits' at 1:15." I handed the woman my money as she handed me the tickets. I thanked her and walked inside the theatre.

"You want anything? Popcorn, drinks?" I asked her she nodded,  
>"We can share some popcorn, I just want a small drink." She said, I grinned at her and walked up to the counter handing the person some money.<p>

We got our food and drinks and walked hand in hand to the movie. Clare got us seats at the very top in the corner. I smirked, wondering why she would pick _those _seats rather than any others.

As the movie started, I noticed there was only two other older couples sitting in the very front, so Clare and I were the only ones in the back. I pulled my attention back to the movie, only to be pulled off gaurd by Clare standing up and sitting in my lap. I smiled at her as she wrapped her arms around my neck and looked at me with her deep blue eyes.

"What are you doing?" I whispered waiting for her response.  
>"Uh, I don't feel like watching the movie." She said back making me raise an eyebrow.<br>"Well, we could leave, or..." I smiled as she inched towards my face, only centimeters from my mouth. She smiled at me and lightly pressed her lips against mine, staying there for a brief moment but pulling back seconds later.

"You are so beautiful, Clare." I smiled and leaned up, crushing my lips over hers. She smiled and push me back to the chair was supporting us. Her lips were moving slowly against mine and she decided to make the first move and slowly slide her tongue on my bottom lip. I smiled against her lips and gently opened up so we could deepen the kiss. But, of course right when things started to get heated, a bright light flashed on us. I pulled away from Clare and squinted my eyes as the bright flashlight shined on us.

"Uhm, I have been asked for you guys to leave the theatre, for disturbing the other people." His deep voice whispered. Clare blushed a deep red and picked up her stuff without even looking at me. She walked down the steps and stood there, waitng for me to come down with her.

I showed the guy a fake smile and walked down the steps grabbing Clare's hand. Sure I was extremely pissed for some stranger to interupt a heated moment, but hey, I didn't want to take it too far. I walked out of the theatre quickly and into Morty without a word until we both entered the hearse.

"Well... um, that was embarrassing." She whispered, I looked over at her as a blush appeared on her cheeks.  
>"Yeah it was, but..." My words trailed off, "It was worth it." I mumbled under my breath. Clare didn't seem to notice. She only scooted over and laid her head on my shoulder and closed her eyes. I kissed the top of her head and slowly drove off. "Where do you want to go?" I asked.<br>"Lets just go back to your place... please." I nodded and drove to my house.

**OO**

"Clare we're here." I whispered shaking Clare awake. I smiled at her as her crystal eyes looked at me. I smiled and pressed my lips gently on her forehead.  
>"Okay..." She mumbled softly and got out of the car, waiting for me to walk beside her. As I got out, her back was facing me and she didn't turn around when I called her name.<br>"Clare...?" I asked. I looked at her face, her mouth hung open and her eyes wide and filled with tears. She had a terrified look on her face.  
>"C-Clare, what's wrong?" She slowly lifted her hand and pointed, I followed the direction she was pointing in and I jumped back as I saw a tall man. The look on his face was frightening.<p>

"What are you doing here?" Clare asked, anger rising in her voice. The man didn't answer her.  
>"I said, what are you doing here?" She was screaming now. The man took a step forward, making Clare step backwards some.<br>"You're my daughter, Clare. I want you to come home."  
><em>Oh shit, this is her dad? He is definitly going to live in hell when I'm done with him.<br>_"Whoa, man, back away from her. She doesn't need you in your life-" before I could finish my scentence, he punched me straight in the face. I fell to the groud, tasting blood as it approached my lips. Clare let out a scream as she yelled things at him. I couldn't tell though, this jackass hit me so hard, I can't see or hear straight.

The next thing I knew, I heard a loud slap, causing a fragile body to fall next to me. This really got me pissed. I stood up and charged at her dad.  
>"Don't you EVER hit her again you sick bastard." I punched him in the face which made him wobble backwards. "Don't ever lay a single hand on her. Don't you ever touch her, or talk to her." I punched him again. "Clare will be moving in with me. She is done with you and your abuse. Clare will be moving out tomorrow." I screamed at him. He spit blood out beside him and looked at me with scared eyes, he slowly nodded as I stood off of him and grabbed Clare's broken body and pulled her inside, leaving her broken dad laying in the grass.<p>

Clare cried in my shoulder as I pulled her inside. She quickly wrapped her arms around my neck and sobbed quietly, her chest rising up and down quickly with every breath she took.  
>"Clare, Clare... it's going to be okay." I whispered rubbing her back gently in tiny circles.<br>"No, Eli it's not. My dad knows where you live. He could come and _kill_ you." She pulled back and looked at me. "I can't believe he was here. What if he comes back and hurts me?" She cried, I looked over to her cheek where he hit her. There was a small bruise appearing under her eye, which made me even more pissed.

I thought for a moment and took my thumb, ghosting it over her cheeks to remove any of the hurtful tears that shedded her eyes. "We... I can move. We can move somewhere closer to school."  
>"Eli, no. I can't do that to you. I can go back home, you can stay here."<br>"NO! You are not going back to your dads. He's dangerous. Please, just do this with me. I've been saving my money to move to a better place anyways. Clare, please, I am begging you. I care about you and your safety." I meant it too, I wanted to move because I hated this place, did I yell you? Julias sister runs this place. Isn't that wonderful? Did I also mention, she makes me pay more rent than others. I've been wanting to move for a while now, but since I finally found a good reason, I am determined to move as soon as possible.

"Eli are you sure? Don't you like it here?"  
>"eh, not really. The neighbors are really mean, but I am sure Clare. I'd do anything to keep you safe." I smiled at her and she showed me a small smile.<br>"Okay... I'll do it." She said, I showed her a wide smile and kissed her lips chastely.  
>"We move tomorrow."<p>

**OOO**

**Okay, I know it's short, but yeah... I have a lot on my mind, so I wanted to end this quicklyish. But anyways, how'd you like it? Her dad coming back and them moving? **

**Anyways, PLEASE read this, but, a good RP friend of mine has asked me to write a Jake/Emma Fanfic.. would you guys read it? **

**Okay, well... I cried at 'Dirt off Your Shoulder Part 2' I don't like Imogen, she's messing up Eli. Clare has always loved ELi and it's completely obvious.**

**anways, peace out bitchess(:**

**Love ya, -Stay Beautiful-**


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